Pictured: Chris Christie

Ate dinner and watched Vice Principals with the wife right after the Alaska thing, so missed the beginning. Watching Ron Johnson, who has about 5 months left in public life, accidentally forgetting he is speaking on Economy night.

7:56: Chris Cox, of the NRA. Make America Work Again! Seriously, this guy can go jump.

7:58: NRA guy starts with a blood-curdling example of a single mother being preyed upon by a home-invader. It wasn’t a true story, of course. You’d think that he could come up with a non-hypothetical to really bolster his case, but he didn’t even try. It’s more the dumbass “politicians have bodyguards, so they’re hypocrites!” argument. I can’t stand it.

(More after jump)

8:01: It’s really bizarre that he is still able to say that the freedom to bear arms is on the cusp of being taken away. After eight years of saying that, it feels a little hollow, doesn’t it? Like a hole in the heart that needs to be filled, somehow.

Dammit, I had written a lot but had computer errors. There was like another 800 words here. Are you as disappointed as I am?

8:30: Paul Ryan is a very good speaker. He’s giving a speech about some mythological candidate who isn’t Donald Trump. He’s the only one who has been able to get the crowd on their feet, including Trump. This attempt to unify the party is nice, but he was speaking from a different time.

That said, he’s still full of shit. His speeches about stale Democratic ideas and failed policies are a good way to mask the fact that he’s never had an original or interesting thought in his life.

8:35: Between Ryan and McCarthy, this feels like a normal convention for a few minutes. They are saying normal things, including “I remember the words of Ronald Reagan.” It feels like there is an actual Republican Party for about 15 minutes. Who’s next?

8:45: So, Chris Christie is basically trying to turn this country into a banana republic, right? It’s almost impossible to debunk the lies, half-truths, and misleading statements. It’s almost beside the point. This is nothing more than a mob trial, a creation of a posse. The crowd keeps yelling “lock her up!” Is this hate going to work? Does America watch this and see these snarling animals and say “I want to be a part of this?” And if so, what does it say about us?

9:27: Trump Jr. gives the speech of the convention. I mean that: he seemed to sincerely believe his garbage. He was forceful in his platitudes. He seems to know the talking points way better than his old man. He’d have a future in politics, if his name wasn’t Trump.

9:42. And Ben Carson ends “Make America Work Again” night by saying that there is a direct line between Hillary Clinton, Saul Alinsky, and Lucifer. I think that’s all we need.